sucks

Okay, so let me first state upfront that I am a scientist throughout every level of my psyche. I do not believe in Gods, the paranormal, homeopathic remedies, astrology, magic, UFOs, immortal souls, the chupacabra or any other such nonsense.

That being said, from an entertainment standpoint, I am a huge fan of nearly all science fiction, fantasy, and literary and cinematic portrayals of pseudoscientific and paranormal ideas (at least the good shows/stories).

In fact, I’m not embarrassed to admit that one of my favorite TV shows is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Cool demons, magic, and truly amazing character development, mixed with brilliant examinations of our shared cultural and human experiences…it’s got it all. Also, I should mention that I was a fan of both “Alias” and “Lost”.

That being said, I just watched the pilot episode of J.J. Abrams new TV show “Fringe” and I must say that it is a steaming load of shite on multiple different levels. And on top of all the things that make it horrible entertainment, I think it’s bad for science as well.

I’d like to first tackle the reasons I think it’s bad for science.

Reason 1: The main “scientist” character is a clinically insane old guy in a white lab coat that gets yanked from the loony bin to do his scientific deeds.  He’s the stereotypical “mad scientist”. And he’s not the only one. Another mad scientist who used to be buddies with the other mad scientist turned himself into Bill Gates and now runs an evil science corporation (at least they strongly imply the corp is gonna be evil).

Reason 2: Just as an example of how science is portrayed in this show – one of the characters in the corporation says (paraphrased) “Science and technology have grown at such an exponential rate for so long, it’s now beyond the control of regulation.” This seems like it will be a major theme of the show – giving a run-down of every possible way imaginable that science can go wrong. FEAR science! It’s out of control!

Reason 3: This is basically the same as #2, but it comes not from the show but from J.J. Abrams himself as quoted in this interview (no longer available):

The show is coming out at a time when every week we read or see some kind of potentially horrifying scientific breakthrough … We are at a time where science is out of control,” Abrams told reporters during a conference call [emphasis mine]. He pointed out that recently scientists talked of having some success in attempting to develop an invisibility cloak device after creating two types of materials that can bend light the wrong way.

“The stuff you would never in a million years think is actually possible, is happening every day. It is pushing what we all thought was that comfortable quaint version of what sci-fi is, to a very different place, and that is where ‘Fringe’ lives,” Abrams said.

Obviously, Abrams knows exactly jack shit about actual science. The cloaking device is cool, but still a far cry from the science fiction incarnations that have been dreamed of for decades. If anything, I would argue that science is far behind most science fiction visions of our technological possibilities, and it certainly isn’t producing “the stuff you would never in a million years think is actually possible”. Despite this reality, Abrams now gives watchers more fears to ruminate on.

Reason 4: Despite the fact that Abrams himself has said that much of the show will at least revolve around real modern science, most of what I’ve seen in the pilot is nothing but moronic caricatures of real science. One quick example: When mad scientist guy is given back his ancient underground laboratory at Harvard from many years ago, he asks for a bunch of lab equipment, including “a microorganism detector”.  What the hell is that? A microscope? Maybe a PCR machine for sequencing DNA (which he’s never heard of because he’s been in the mental clink for years). I’ve been in many many labs, but somehow I missed out on being trained to use the microorganism detector.

Which brings up the main reason I hate this show – The plot setup is so retarded that I simply cannot suspend my disbelief.

You see, good shows dealing with the paranormal or pseudoscientific do one key thing that makes all the wierd stuff perfectly alright – they give you a good reason to suspend your disbelief. Buffy, for instance, simply tells you “magic is real, demons are real, and she’s the chosen one to kill evil”.

Alright, I can accept that – now bring on Spike…

As another example, Heroes, X-Men and The 4400 simply said “There are people with superhuman or paranormal gifts. It’s tied to biology or genetics. That’s all you need to know.” Alright, I accept your scene – on with the cool acts of derring-do.

“Fringe”, on the other hand, makes its own setup utterly unbelievable and stupid almost from the very beginning. Fifteen minutes into it, we’re told that there’s some crazy disease melting people or turning their skin clear, and only one man can save the now-infected FBI agent. The savior is non other than the mad scientist who’s been in the Nut Hatch for years.

So they pull him out, muttering, stuttering, and acting generally crazy, and they give him his lab. He immediately begins prepping a few electrodes and a massive tank full of saline or something, into which he puts the girl of the show. He hooks her up to the FBI dude so they can “share consciousness”.

Never mind the fact that science and technology has in fact progressed far enough that the ten-year-old scientific knowledge of an insane man would be almost completely obsolete.

The problem is that the show doesn’t set itself in the future or couch the strange happenings in a simple way that allows you to disregard the unlikelihood of its events. No – instead it takes itself MUCH too seriously and tries to make you believe that our technology, as we know it and understand it right now in 2008, already contains such things as transmogrification, teleportation, and connecting minds (through the rhythm of “brain waves” no less, ignoring anything about real neuroscience or brain structure or neurons). Not only that, but the crazy scientist many years out of practice is light years ahead of the real scientists.

In summary, don’t waste your time with “Fringe”. From the pilot, I saw no redeeming interesting plot elements or particularly intriguing character development. Perhaps it will get better, though I doubt it.